Football season. Colts just lost – big time. And it’s 2 weeks into the new year and I feel like punting on my resolutions. How about you?
I set these grandiose goals. I verbalized my resolutions because this year it was going to be different. I was going to still remember at the end of January what I resolved to do this whole year. And I’ve already dropped the ball. How many times do I have to hit reset? I’ve fumbled. Again. Back in the huddle, my brain acting as a certified life coach, glares at me and screams, “Really? We’ve been through this so many times. You know what you have to do and you get in the game and you act like you’ve never played before! Keep it up and you’re gonna be sidelined!” This banter sound familiar?
We’ve got to let it go. Turn off that negative chatter. Beating ourselves up as we work through our challenges does not make us stronger. And let’s be clear, I am writing this because I am talking directly to myself and honestly just hoping you guys can relate.
What motivates you? Is it self-defeating banter? Shame? Disappointment? Yikes. NO thanks. That doesn’t light a fire under me. It just makes me want to crawl under the nearest nautilus machine and hide. Yet it’s human nature to focus on the negative. I believe there’s a time and place for disappointment and corrective behavior changes. But what about honoring the tiny little successes? The celebrations. Focus on what positive outcome is going to come to you. Imagine how you will feel when you get there.
Studies abound about positive and negative reinforcement. What generates change. What doesn’t. And everyone is different. But the root of success is intrinsic motivation. What difference will this change make in you? How will you feel when you get there? And are you personally invested in the change or is it coming from other sources or “shoulds”?
I’m still trying to dust myself off and pick myself up and get back into the game. Come join me. We need each other’s company and positive encouragement. Don’t quit. No one is really keeping score. And if someone is, they’re playing a different game than you. Because in our game, when we’re always working at being our best, we always win.
Real. Positive. Change. - Judi